the Cocoon...

First of all, I want to say to everyone reading ..HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

I am ever changing. I love this aspect of life. I woke up today feeling energized and provoked by all that is good and going on. I worked out, and I got online to check my mail, and send everyone a comment. I had some time alone here at home with no distractions. Sometimes, it's the little things that means a lot when you are struggling towards some level of normality.
I had a long talk with my friend in New York this week, and he reminded me of what was important again. He's my own personal Guru. He's the best! When others will only be self-interested, he's very observant and not afraid to express his opinion if you ask him for any kind of advice. Some people seem like they don't believe me, or they're not so interested in what I have to say, They feel like I don't really say much because i always talk about the same things with them, and that's really okay. The irony in that is that I only repeat myself because they choose not to go into in-depth details about their life, and they only really repeat the same thing too so why should I give them anymore then I am getting? In fact, there were times when I DID give more, and just got the same ole crap in return.
I feel like I have to go to every ones blog to see whats really going on in their lives, and sometimes, their words are even shrouded in mystery there, so who really knows what the hell is going on??? And I have been finding myself more and more, recently, and I feel like I am much more mentally healthy then I was just a year ago. its so easy to get caught up in the latest trends, the latest diet, the latest music and feel like if you don't have a grasp to it, you are being left behind..in fact, that is the view of most people who focus on that type of stuff. That is where my friend came in.
He really reminded me about materialism, and that no matter how much weight I lose, I could lose myself, and I would never be happy, even if I was the size of a twig! As long as I see life in a outer beauty view, I will never be happy. Being happy is whats on the inside. Its about how beautiful you are in there. Some days my insides look like FREDDY KRUGER!! He even told me how to change that. And that when someone gives me a complement, that not only am I insulting myself by having a negative rebuttal, I am rejecting their complements that they have giving freely to me, that they didn't have to waste their time with in the first place, so that's something I am working on as well.
Today is a WONDERFUL day! I feel much better! No, I'm not perfect, but no one really ever is, and the day they think they are is when they have become the master of fooling themselves! I'm glad I am growing and ever changing. I am in a cocoon, yet this butterfly will never hatch externally. It will hatch internally, spreading joy and positivity throughout my body, changing the way I think forever...and that's when people will see the butterfly. Its beauty will overtake me, and I will not become beautiful, but My LIFE instead, will be beautiful. I hope that this finds you, and makes you feel good about yourself too when you find some truth in it!
Thank you for reading and have a really incredible holiday! And those who don't celebrate thanksgiving?...well, I thank you anyways for reading my blog, and that in itself, is a thanksgiving!

Til next time! ~Rob