OH MY GAWD! I soo had a religious experience at like 230am in the morning! I was watching TV, and you know those Queer Eye for the Straight Guy people? OH MAN! I was watching Kathy Griffin stand up, and she was talking about them, and how she paraded around with them and stuff and said she loves her fag boyfriends. Now, i started thinking "why doesn't anyone think of me that way? You know, throwing a little pity party (party of one, no alcoholic beverages please!), and I started really thinking you know?....I am a gay man, and I don't have a gay bone in my WHOLE BODY!!!
And OH MY GAWD , there's always the whole fat issue I could harp on til even Micky D's is like FOR GAWD SAKE! WE'RE SWITCHING TO VEGETABLE OIL!, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! But missing the fashion train is a whole other thing! Well you know what I mean. I talk about the cock; I'm not shy. I am even listening the this very gay techno version of Sweet Caroline...a Neil Diamond classic that was butchered for flaring asses on dance floors everywhere! So, I am gay yes, but I am talking more about my fashion sense.....I HAVE NONE! I am AS WE SPEAK, wearing black baggy huge ass shorts that I have to tie off with a belt to keep from looking like I am desperate, and wearing a CAMO colored T shirt! Now the lesbians would be totally in love if I just added an army hat and got a tattoo of Betty Page on my arm. I would have dates for decades! But does this sound like something a gay man would be caught dead in?
I was even thinking to myself...MAN they have the whole Queer Eye for the straight guy, where the hell is MY show? I need a fucking make over!!! I am having a fashion EMERGENCY! Somebody call the RODEO DRIVE 911!!! If I stood next to Versace's grave to take a tourist picture, he would dig HIMSELF up, and say BITCH PLEASE...NOT IN THAT OUTFIT! I mean, what to do, right? Why can't those hot boys make a show for me called Queer Eye for the Queer with NO eyes?..(grin)
I guess til someone helps me with my ass and my vision, I will just be sitting here in slippers, curlers, and camos eating hoho's and ding dongs...and i don't mean the fun one's. Meanwhile, your contribution would help. For just pennies a day, you too can save this queen from the brink of extinction. Please do it for the children! if not for them, then for their gay brothers vision. Please call today! 1-869-WAT-D'HELL.. A fag with no fashion sense is waiting for love from you!
(Disclaimer~This blog is not supported or endorsed by any of the above mentioned parties, unless they are on a mission from God to save me from sure fucking self-destruction.)
And OH MY GAWD , there's always the whole fat issue I could harp on til even Micky D's is like FOR GAWD SAKE! WE'RE SWITCHING TO VEGETABLE OIL!, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! But missing the fashion train is a whole other thing! Well you know what I mean. I talk about the cock; I'm not shy. I am even listening the this very gay techno version of Sweet Caroline...a Neil Diamond classic that was butchered for flaring asses on dance floors everywhere! So, I am gay yes, but I am talking more about my fashion sense.....I HAVE NONE! I am AS WE SPEAK, wearing black baggy huge ass shorts that I have to tie off with a belt to keep from looking like I am desperate, and wearing a CAMO colored T shirt! Now the lesbians would be totally in love if I just added an army hat and got a tattoo of Betty Page on my arm. I would have dates for decades! But does this sound like something a gay man would be caught dead in?
I was even thinking to myself...MAN they have the whole Queer Eye for the straight guy, where the hell is MY show? I need a fucking make over!!! I am having a fashion EMERGENCY! Somebody call the RODEO DRIVE 911!!! If I stood next to Versace's grave to take a tourist picture, he would dig HIMSELF up, and say BITCH PLEASE...NOT IN THAT OUTFIT! I mean, what to do, right? Why can't those hot boys make a show for me called Queer Eye for the Queer with NO eyes?..(grin)
I guess til someone helps me with my ass and my vision, I will just be sitting here in slippers, curlers, and camos eating hoho's and ding dongs...and i don't mean the fun one's. Meanwhile, your contribution would help. For just pennies a day, you too can save this queen from the brink of extinction. Please do it for the children! if not for them, then for their gay brothers vision. Please call today! 1-869-WAT-D'HELL.. A fag with no fashion sense is waiting for love from you!
(Disclaimer~This blog is not supported or endorsed by any of the above mentioned parties, unless they are on a mission from God to save me from sure fucking self-destruction.)
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